C. Lee McKenzie

Young Adult and Middle Grade Author

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Celebrating Small Things & Recounting Some Writing Experience, Especially Loglines and Taglines

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VIKLIT
Co-Hosts

LG Keltner @ Writing Off the Edge

Katie @ TheCyborg Mom

CaffeMaggieato @ mscoffeehouse
This week my small celebrations are:
finishing line edits ahead of schedule on Double Negative.
writing one short story for Heroes of Phenomena Book Launch.
composing a fairly decent logline and tagline for Double Negative. (See below.) 
staying cool during our 102 degree day. Yuck!
Oh, and not succumbing to my triskaidekaphobia today.

Oh no! Not Friday the Thirteenth.

*****
I’m visiting another UNCOMMONYA author this week, MELISSA WRAY. It would be great if you’d stop by. You can read me in my verbose, writer mode. It happens sometimes.
MELISSA WRAY, AUTHOR OF DESTINY ROAD
*****
Are you good at writing LOGLINES or TAGLINES? It takes some practice, I can tell. You. And are you clear on how these two are different? If not, here’s what I know about them.
LOGLINES tell you in a single sentence what the story is about.
TAGLINES are intended to catch your interest.
SOURCE
An example: Jaws

Logline: A sheriff must find and kill a man-eating and frighteningly intelligent shark before it murders again and scares away all the tourists who support his beach-front community.

Tag Line: Don’t go into the water.
Tell me what  you think about mine. I could use some help if you see where these could be better, please tell me. 
Double Negative

Logline: Shackled by near illiteracy, a teenage boy decides escape from his alcoholic mother and absentee father will give him a better life, but his bad choices trap him in even a worse place.

Tagline: Going to juvie wasn’t part of his escape plan. (I’m still fiddling with this one. I may be back with another version next week.)

Are you celebrating anything this week? Are you good at loglines and taglines? Triskaidekaphobia much?

Comments

  1. Great post! Sorry you recently had 102 degree weather. UGH! HOT!

    Awesome news about the edits being ahead of schedule. That is always a nice thing. I think the log line and tag line sound good. I put two versions below that I did a little tweaking too- but please feel free to ignore- these are just thoughts and I thought the ones you wrote sounded excellent!

    Logline: Shackled by functional illiteracy, a teenage boy decides escape from his alcoholic single mother will give him a better life, but his bad choices trap him in an even worse place.

    Tagline: Getting trapped wasn't part of his escape plan. (not sure if trapped works for being put in juvie- since I haven't read the book).

    Best of luck!
    ~Jess

  2. Log lines, tag lines, headlines, I can do it all. Still, this was well cool.

    Glad your edits are ahead of schedule. I have no idea about editing. First time written is always good. Well, first time written by Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar is always good.

    102 degrees? You had better meant in Fahrenheit. Or that really was a Friday the 13th to remember and forget because it's all over….

    I shall now go and get sorted in a darkened room…………..

    Gary………………………..!

  3. I was left with very little understanding of the story. After just reading the logline I know there is an illiterate teenage boy with crappy parents who is in trouble. I don't know what he has to overcome or why I would want to read about a kid in trouble.

    I think I would leave out absentee father because you don't have to escape from him and start with his Desire to escape from her but shackled (I like that term a lot) by his illiteracy he chooses the only option available to him and too late realizes it was the wrong choice. or now he is shackled by the law.

    I needed to hear more so bringing in the juvie from the tagline helped me understand how terribly wrong his choice was.

    I am concerned about him being in juvie seeming like the end of the story. So maybe something about new escape plan or could it be worse than living with alcoholic mother? I need a little more information to see where the story is going. Or does this bring absentee dad into the picture?

    Okay that may be more confusing than help; but I hope not.

    http://katloveswriting.blogspot.com

  4. Congrats on finishing your line edits and writing a story! 🙂

    Congrats on coming up with a logline and tagline, as well. I'm never good at writing those sorts of things!

  6. I'm a tragic sales person and I think it takes a great one to write great log line/tag lines. Yours makes me ask questions. To me, that ticks boxes. 🙂

    shahwharton.com

  10. It is so hard to sum up a story in just a few sentences. My question is does getting into juvie represent the beginning or the
    end of the action?

  11. just put some bars on the cover…… I hear bars, knifes, guns, and words blood, death, kill on the covers sell books better than anything…. it's the saddest truth ever…. People nowadays are sick…

  12. It can be hard summing up a story in a few lines but I think you have done a good job here. I don't have a problem with the number 13 I actually quite like it - one of my children was born on the 13th! Enjoying the sun here although not quite as hot as you there. Have a cool weekend 🙂

  14. Just think of 13 chocolate chip cookies, or 13 cups of coffee, or 13 bottles of wine:) Yay for crossing the finish "line edits" and double YAY for joining my Hollywood Heroes circus!!!

  15. I guess I'm not sure what "juvie" means. You may want a different word,so clueless people like me know what you're talking about. 🙂

    Good luck!

  16. Loglines and taglines petrify me. My mind goes blank. Well, that's not so unusual. 🙂
    Congratulations on your forthcoming book. That's so exciting.
    Going to check out the interview. Have a lovely weekend.

  18. I was all set to comment on the post, but scrolled down too far and got distracted by J.E.McLeod's post on the sidebar. My eyes bugged out. I may be scarred for life. I'll let you know…

    OK, back to the post. I loved the interview, and yay for finishing line edits. (I HATE line edits…) Loglines and taglines are killers. I go through lots and let my CPs bat them down. Good luck on yours!

  19. I haven't practiced loglines or taglines much, but they definitely seem tricky. Hope you have a good day…I love Friday the 13th, so I never complain when one comes around!

  22. I suck at summarizing my stories. Period.

    Your logline sounds good. Tagline needs work, though. I might be wrong, but I think a tagline can actually be a few short sentences. (Can't think of examples, though.)

  23. I'm a new author, but I've found that I'm pretty good with loglines and taglines.I personally think they are fun to come up with. 🙂

    Good for you for finishing your sentence edits ahead of schedule. That is definitely something to celebrate.

  25. What fun! No, not the 102 degree weather. Sorry about that! Loglines and taglines. I have no idea if I'm any good or not.

    The logline tripped me up at the end "but his bad choices trap him in even a worse place." Try removing 'even'. I think that might be what was messing with me.

    The tagline is fun.Like—whoopsies.

  26. Yikes - that is hot!!! I would struggle. And, I can't say that word - but I can try. 🙂
    I really like the tagline although it might be fun to take out the to like Alex did - Going juvie wasn't part of his escape plan . . . definitely like that.

    And I like your logline too. Nice example and description of loglines and taglines. 🙂

  27. You've got some hot weather happening. And no, don't succomb to that readlly difficult word I didn't know how to properly read or say (lol!!) Friday is just another day and it just happens to be the 13th day of the month. There.

    I like your logline. That was clear and concise. The tagline is pretty good. The only thing is the use of the word juvie. I would like to think that pretty much anyone would know what that refers to but that could be something to think on.