Well, here goes. I’m entering That’s YAmore Blogfest to have some fun this Valentine season. Shutting my eyes and thinking about steaming up the screen with something hot, but YA suitable. That’s a challenge in itself, but to do it in 250 words adds a bit more difficulty. Love scenes are NOT my strongest suit, so cut me some slack when you read and comment here, okay?
Liz starts the movie and leans close. My side goes steamy from her heat. Below my belly button, tiny needles tattoo my skin, and I can’t tell if it hurts or if it feels better than anything I’ve felt in my life.
I keep my eyes on the screen while Neo hacks away at his computer.
Liz pulls my hand around her shoulders, then rubs my palm with her thumbs.
While Neo’s figuring out what’s real, what isn’t, what’s next, so am I.
She brushes her lips across my knuckles. I miss a scene; my heart misses a beat.
Neo hurtles off walls and into battle, a super human, and I’m thinking Neo wouldn’t sit here, waiting for Liz to take charge. Neo would be the man.
“You like?” She asks.
I pull her around to face me, and plant a kiss almost where I planned but close enough to get her attention.
Her mouth opens under mine, and now my lips heat up like the rest of me, and I’ve got tiny hearts pumping everywhere. I push harder and she falls back onto the couch with me kneeling over her.
“You’re good, Hutch.” She smiles up at me, and I kiss her again.
I am good. Everything inside me says, “good to go” when she holds her hands against my chest.
“That’s it.”
“That’s what?”
“I don’t go all the way.”
Those tiny hearts turn into satellites around the thudding planet that’s ready to go nova in my chest.
From The Double Negative, WIP, © C. Lee McKenzie
Jessica Lei says
I love the "tiny needles tattoo my skin." Wonderful word choice! Feel bad for the poor guy lol Thanks for sharing 😀
Christopher S. Ledbetter says
I love the line "I miss a scene. My heart misses a beat" and then I also love when he plants a kiss *almost* where he wanted. Nice job.
Darby Karchut says
I am CRAZY, CRAZY about that last line!
Catherine Stine says
Lots of good tension here.
blueeyedadri says
She's a good girl! Great snippet C.Lee. Mine isn't ready, boo hoo. We'll see if I get it up in time!
Christine Danek says
I loved this. Especially, Those tiny hearts turn into satellites around the thudding planet that’s ready to go nova in my chest.
Love that line.
Great scene.
Adrienne says
I love this scene. And we just watched the Matrix, so now you've got me thinking about Neo…
kellyhashway says
It's so awesome that this is from the male POV. You don't see that often. Great job!
Sophia Richardson says
I love the line "I miss a scene; my heart misses a beat" but I'm a sucker for repetition! I also agree with Stina about the kiss that's "almost where [he] planned". This is a great scene, a good mix of sweet (his nerves!) and hot.
– Sophia.
The Brain Lair (KB) says
Wow! You've got it wrong Cheryl, you rock at writing love scenes!! Not only steamy but you pulled me in! So glad it's going to be a book!
Christa says
Really really good. I will now go take a cold shower. Nice work.
Stina Lindenblatt says
I love this from the male perspective. Great job!
My favorite line is: I pull her around to face me, and plant a kiss almost where I planned but close enough to get her attention.
erica and christy says
"ready to go nova" is a great line!! Fun, truthful scene.
erica
C. Lee McKenzie says
I've been making the rounds and reading the other posts. They're great. This has been fun and such a great idea, Jessie!
Thanks for all the comments here.
Jessie Harrell says
woot! love this line: Below my belly button, tiny needles tattoo my skin, and I can’t tell if it hurts or if it feels better than anything I’ve felt in my life.
Beverly Stowe McClure says
Yes. I like it from the male point of view. He sounds so sweet. 🙂
Tricia J. O'Brien says
Whew, Lee! You went and got darn steamy. I love that he plants a kiss almost where he planned. His slight fumbles make him endearing and real.
LM Preston says
Oh wow, this is so cute, "I don't go all the way!" It did get my heart racing! Loved it 😀
AE Rought says
Those tiny hearts turn into satellites around the thudding planet that’s ready to go nova in my chest. <—I love this line! Thanks for joining in the blogfest <3
Catherine A. Winn says
I enjoyed this snippet from your WIP novel 🙂 Good Luck!