I used to have a schedule for just about everything, but I’m not too good at sticking with any of them. Here’s mine for 2018.
I’ve been in a “personal purgatory of self-doubt” these past few months, and I couldn’t figure out why until I stumbled on an article about the insecure person’s personality. And Kapow! there it was. For one thing, I was reacting to the “humble brag” on Facebook. You know the author who “must drag themselves to their next signing.” Sigh. Such a chore. For another, I have a friend whose life is perfect and obviously quite enviable…according to them. How can it be that their life is spot on while mine isn’t?
After I read the article, I committed these quotes to memory:
“The insecure person tries to make you feel insecure yourself.”
“If you don’t feel insecure in general, but only around certain people, it’s likely they’re projecting their insecurities onto you.”
“The insecure person drops the ‘humble brag’ far too often.”
Armed with this information, I have no time for insecurity today, but just in case hugs are needed, here’s one and a quote to help ease anyone through those less than secure moments.
“People who are constantly bragging about their great lifestyle, their elite education, or their fantastic children may very well be doing so to convince themselves that they really do have worth.” Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., ABPP
As you must know there’s a new anthology arriving in 2018. I love the title. Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime. There were eleven winning entries, and each story while unique had to be based on the Tick Tock theme.
Stop by their blogs and congratulate the winning authors!
I’ll be putting in an appearance, too, [BRAG ALERT!] with my first attempt at something a tad gory. I’m still wondering where that story came from. Maybe some evil lurks in this heart and I’m just getting in touch with it.
Deborah Drucker says
Congratulations on being in this new anthology. I too would find it a challenge to write something gory. I do love murder mysteries and sometimes they can be gory but I do not have a taste for super gory, no slasher or chain saw stuff for me. It does bother me that women are often the victims. Read an interesting article that the Hallmark Channel has been very popular lately. I think people are hungry for good news and happy endings. Not denying that we all have dark sides. And I agree there is a lot of bragging on social media which does not necessarily reflect reality and it’s kind of boring too. Glad I found your blog. <3
C. Lee McKenzie says
I’m not into gore, either. I prefer a lighter, mysterious touch. Hitchcock had the idea, suggest and let the imagination fill in the details. Thanks for stopping in. I hope you’ll visit again.
Patricia Lynne says
Your writing schedule gave me a good laugh.
J.H. Moncrieff says
Congrats on being featured in the anthology, Lee! That’s awesome.
Sorry to hear about the crisis of confidence. I used to have a friend who humble bragged all the time to ridiculous levels, and I found myself often feeling resentful and insecure after an evening with her. It took me a while to figure out what the issue was, but now that I rarely see her, I don’t experience those feelings anymore. It’s funny the affect some people can have on us.
If you do read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Manson addresses the problems with our social media culture and the tendency people have to paint their lives as perfect. Interesting read.
Michelle Wallace says
That schedule made me chuckle…
So you’re into the evil and gory stuff at the moment? Well, I must say that story was really… heartless. But fabulously so! I love your writing. Period.
Happy 2018, Lee. 🙂
C. Lee McKenzie says
Ha! Guess I can’t hide behind that Ms. Nice Person anymore. Thanks, Michelle.
Lynda Dietz says
I think I could make myself crazy if I were to believe that social media posts truly represented 100% of my friends’ lives. I seem to have a large number of friends who travel to exotic places, and though I love to travel, I rarely have the time or money, and have only gone a couple places in the past few decades. Even so, I remind myself that they live normal lives in the in-between, but they only post the highlights.
I don’t understand why some people feel the need to make others feel . . . less. It certainly doesn’t make me feel any better to know I’ve made someone feel worse.
Congratulations on your foray into the dark side! I’m looking forward to reading that anthology.
C. Lee McKenzie says
I know. I’m in my sweats hacking away on my keyboard, no makeup, hair–well, being hair–and someone’s posting an updated profile picture on fb that makes Marilyn look shabby. “Oh well,” I say, sucking it up and brushing my locks.
I’d really like to write comedy, but I don’t think I’d succeed. I’m sticking with the dark and icky stuff for a while. 🙂
Nicki Elson says
Good for you going dark! It’s fun to step away from the usual once in a while.
Those quotes are AWESOME. Being insecure only around certain people is a very telling sign. And whenever someone’s life looks all rainbows and sunshine on the social networks, it completely screams of a need to try to convince themselves more than anyone else.
Happy new year!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Hi Nicki,
Glad the quotes resonated with you. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Christine Rains says
Congrats on your win! And I agree those people are annoying. I laughed at that schedule image. Here’s to a great 2018 for all of us! 🙂
C. Lee McKenzie says
I guess we’re all annoying in turn, but it’s fun to grump a bit. Thanks for the good wishes. Back to you with the same.
Damyanti says
Hugs right back at you, Lee.
On the other hand, may I take this opportunity to tell you about my writing success, my swanky lifestyle, the rare orchids in my garden, my incomparable beauty and so on and so forth?
lol
Happy New Year, and thanks, as always for your support on my blog.
C. Lee McKenzie says
We already knew about all of that about you, Damyanti. And we’ve always appreciated your humility while envying you. Keep up that swanky lifestyle. I, for one, live vicariously a lot of the time.
Stephanie@Fairday's Blog says
Great things to keep in mind when we feel insecure. 🙂
Congrats to all on the anthology. How interesting that you branched out into a new area for you. Awesome!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Hi Stephanie.
Thanks. Did you see that you were among my winners in the Dec. Giveaway? I’ll need your snail mail address.
Rebecca M. Douglass says
Love the kitty hugs, and appreciate the insight on insecurities! Congratulations on the story in the anthology! BTW, if you could add another “s” to Douglass in the list above I’d appreciate it 🙂
BTW, I love the writing schedule/plan. I’m not looking beyond the current project, for fear I’ll go skipping off after something new and fresh without finishing :O
C. Lee McKenzie says
Will definitely add that “s” I hate it when I misspell a name, so thanks for catching that.
Rebecca M. Douglass says
Thanks! It wasn’t you–it got mis-typed on the IWSG page (they’ve fixed it now).
C. Lee McKenzie says
Great! Two esses it is!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Huge relief. I hate being the culprit! Thanks for letting me know.
Gwen Gardner says
Ha! Those perfect people are annoying. Congratulations on your anthology win! Can’t wait to read it.
Happy New Year!
C. Lee McKenzie says
I want to be perfect, but as you can see that’s simply impossible. Thanks, Gwen.
Cherie Reich says
Happy New Year! Congrats on your story being a part of the anthology!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Thanks, Cherie. It’s very exciting to be included.
Mary Aalgaard says
Congratulations, Lee! I’m honored and thrilled to be sharing the pages of the “time” anthology with you. Sweep the insecurities into the dust bin. You’re doing great. Keep in mind, most people post on FB the things that are going well, the brags, the outings, the accomplishments. We keep the disappointments to ourselves.
Take care and happy reading and writing in 2018!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Hi Mary! Thanks for stopping by to say hello. I look forward to reading your story.
Rachna Chhabria says
Congratulations for your story making it into the IWSG Anthology. Loved the picture of your writing schedule 🙂
Rachna Chhabria
Co-host IWSG
Rachna’s Scriptorium
C. Lee McKenzie says
Hi Rachna. Thanks. And that schedule is the best I can do these days. 🙂 Glad you liked it.
Lynda R Young says
That picture of your schedule is awesome… and inspiring 😉
btw, you need to add your wordpress blog link to your blogger profile page so I can click to it from your comments on my blog because I’m lazy… just saying 😉
C. Lee McKenzie says
I thought that had been done, but guess not. I hope I fixed it this morning.
Louise (Fundy Blue) says
I was thrilled to see that you are among the writers selected for the IWSG anthology, Lee! Congratulations! I can’t wait to read your story! A hug is always appreciated ~ sending you one in return! All the best in 2018!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Hi Fundy!
Thanks. I was a bit surprised at the inclusion, so I’m pleased you’re going to read the story.
Here’s to both of our 2018 year being fantastic.
Liz A. says
Congrats on the story. There’s a reason why I don’t follow some people on social media. I don’t need to hear about their “fabulous” life. It’s hard enough work to feel fabulous in my own skin.
C. Lee McKenzie says
But you crochet and a I don’t know anyone else on this crazy place that does. You hold a special niche.
C.G.Coppola says
I loved the “pour yourself some wine” note. (That’s on my to-do list too!)
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been in a self-doubt purgatory, but I’m glad you found something to pull you out of it! Don’t focus on them, focus on yourself. And all the amazing things you’re going to accomplish this year 😉
C. Lee McKenzie says
And I will. Thank you so much for the visit today. I look forward to your return.
Yvonne Ventresca says
Happy New Year, Lee! And congrats about the story! So excited for you.
C. Lee McKenzie says
Remember why it wasn’t supposed to be included? I’ve been a little confused from the beginning, but then that seems to be my permanent condition lately.
Toi Thomas says
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. Thanks for the quotes; much needed. Congratulations on your story being featured in the new anthology. I’m so excited. I wish you all the best with your 2018 goals, whatever they may be.
C. Lee McKenzie says
Thanks, Toi. And my best to you for this fresh new year.
Denise Covey says
Hi Lee! Thanks for posting the winners for the new anthology. First time I’ve seen it, but I’m not around the blogs much ATM.
Love your quote. I think that nails the bragger. Oh, I’m so glad I don’t get those bragging Christmas letters any more. Sure to make you feel a failure, at least as a mother, if your child didn’t persevere through 3 uni degrees, a master’s and a PHD. Urk!
Happy New Year! I don’t make resolutions, at least out loud, but I have a quiet plan ticking away inside at all times.
C. Lee McKenzie says
The Xmas letter! I still get a couple, and I still wonder how on earth the people lead such a charmed and beautiful life. If I wrote one that was true, I’d have a melodrama. Happy New Year!
HR Sinclair says
So true! And it’s so negative, we don’t need that! AND CONGRATS!
C. Lee McKenzie says
I think I should do a whole month on humble bragging. Marking that down for the future.
Hilary says
Hi Lee – congratulations on the anthology entry … great news: as too its publication … I shall enjoy the read. It’s funny isn’t it – if people constantly talk about how they are etc … shows their lack of sensitivity and insecurity … I’ll be simple and easy going – cheers to you – and here’s to more dark writings in 2018 (well light ones too if you wish!) … Hilary
Sarah Foster says
Congrats on the anthology and to all of the other winners! Can’t wait to check it out!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Thanks, Sarah. Look forward to your response to the book of stories.
Natalie Aguirre says
Congrats to the winners and to you for your honorable mention. And thanks for the quotes. I try not to be insecure but I’m really writing under contract and public marketing events, not that anyone would ask me to do them.
C. Lee McKenzie says
There’s a story about why I’m in that anthology. I may share it later. Keep trying not to be insecure. That’s the best strategy.
Juneta says
I love your quotes.
Juneta @ Writer’s Gambit
C. Lee McKenzie says
Thanks, Juneta!
Beverly Stowe McClure says
Aw, the Calico looks just like my Patches. You have to watch her though. She may hug you one minute then bite you the next.
Your goal list looks a lot like mine.
Congratulations on the Anthology. Looking forward to reading it.
C. Lee McKenzie says
Those Calicos! You’ve got to keep an eye on them all the time. Let’s reach our goals together this year!
Nick Wilford says
The board is very funny! A lot of people try to put the best image across on Facebook, but you do have to read between the lines. Hope your writing goes well this year.
C. Lee McKenzie says
Thanks, Nick, and I’m sending you the same wishes.
Jacqui Murray says
Ooh–Humble Brag. Love that phrase (and new to me). Isn’t that true.
C. Lee McKenzie says
I love the idea of the “humble brag,” and I think I’m going to do a bit of it to see what happens. 🙂
Pat Hatt says
Yep, the braggers usually are the most insecure. Farcebook and the like are nothing but a clip show anyway, and I hate clip shows lol
C. Lee McKenzie says
:-0 And now they’ve come out and told us how we’re being manipulated. We knew it, but their admission was kind of like the tobacco industry’s late admission of guilt.
L. Diane Wolfe says
It’s called crabs in a bucket. One tries to rise above it all and the other crabs pull him down. Just have to X those people out of our lives.
I like your goal board, especially the ending.
C. Lee McKenzie says
I like the image of crabs in a bucket! It’s perfect.
Tyrean A Martinson says
Congratulations to you and all of the winners!
I have fallen both into the trap of saying too much on social media, and feeling left out of the big social loop. It’s a tough balance and it’s tough to know how much to share and when not to. I want to stay positive, so the posts I put out there have a tendency to be on the “yay, we did this” side instead of the “well, today we grumbled at each other, although yesterday we had great family fun.” It’s hard to know how to post the highs and the lows all at once.
Best wishes for happiness, peace, security, joy, and fun writing in 2018!
C. Lee McKenzie says
I hear what you’re saying. I’m in the same quandary. It may be time for FB and me to part. I’m thinking about it.
Tyrean A Martinson says
I’ve thought about it, too. Unfortunately, it’s a method that some of my family members use to keep in touch so I’ll be there for the long haul, just maybe not as often.
Elephants Child says
Huge congratulations to all of the anthology winners – and entrants.
And yes, self doubt is as integral to me as my skeleton, and possibly stronger. I will happily share a whine/wine with you.
C. Lee McKenzie says
I love what you just wrote. And I love that you’re willing to share both wines/whines with me. I love company.
Julie Flanders says
I love your schedule! Reminds me of my attempts to make one. Hugs back to you!
Congratulations to the anthology authors, you included!! Yay!!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Hi Julie! We are destined to be friends if we schedule the same way? 🙂
Thanks for the congrats. I’m very pleased about being included.
ChemistKen says
“Write 10 words.” I think you did that just by writing the schedule. Heck, I think you wrote enough there for 3 days.
I’m mostly only insecure when I read another writer’s writing. Or maybe that’s just jealosy. Don’t know. Either way, I try not to think about it too much. Have a productive 2018.
C. Lee McKenzie says
Oh, I could do a whole gaggle of posts about reading other people’s work and giving up ever writing another word. And now that you’ve called it to my attention, I’m not writing anything more for three days. Thank you.
Bish Denham says
I don’t run into humble braggers too often, but I needed those quotes anyway, and the hug.
C. Lee McKenzie says
They’re both yours and I’ll send more as needed.
Jemi Fraser says
Love that quote – it’s so very true!
Yay on the anthology (I’m SO excited too!!!) and I’m looking forward to seeing your glimpse of evil 🙂
C. Lee McKenzie says
Congrats back to you, Jemi! How great to be in the same book together.
Loni Townsend says
You know, I don’t know if I humble brag or not. Humility was never a strong point of mine. 🙂 I know I try to talk about the positives on social media, just because if I dwell too long on the negative, I start getting depressed and that’s a nasty spiral I’ve been down too often. I will, however, talk about my woes on my blog. Here’s to a happy and secure new year!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Genuine woes aren’t humble bragging…at least I hope not. I got some woes to share and might just pick the best time. A time when I’m so far behind I can’t possibly catch up and I need to tell everyone why!
diedre says
Congratulations – and Happy New Year!
I loved this post, it resonates well with what I’ve seen lately on social media and how it makes me feel even when I’m not part of the conversation.
Cheers to confidence and creativity!
Sherry Ellis says
I believe there is a lot of truth to that quote. People on Facebook often try to paint their lives as wonderful. It’s an alter-life. Not real. Everyone has problems. When we realize that, we can be grateful for what we have, and do what’s right for us.
Have a great 2018!
C. Lee McKenzie says
I’m getting better at reading between those lines on Facebook!
Megan Morgan says
Your ‘schedule’ made me laugh. Sounds about as descriptive as mine!
IWSG post: Taking Chances
C. Lee McKenzie says
A like mind! Let’s get together in 2018.
Carrie-Anne says
It’s definitely a bad strategy to measure ourselves against humble-braggers. I see so many of them during NaNo, the people claiming a bad day was only 35K, or that they only wrote 700K instead of their usual million-plus.
I agree, many people constantly proclaiming how awesome their lives are, or how much such and such a thing matters to them, are really insecure and trying to prove it to themselves.
C. Lee McKenzie says
You’ve just given me another reason not to do NaNo. I can’t take more humble chatter. Thanks. 🙂
Pat Garcia says
I like your honesty, Lee. Beware of the writer who has to humbly apologised for being so successful. What they don’t realise is that it shows their insecurities. The one or two books I’ve read that have been penned by you are fantastic. I enjoyed them and I still recommend them to parents who are searching for a good book for their children who are eleven years old and older.
You have a lot to be proud of.
Wishing you all the best for 2018.
Shalom aleichem,
Pat G
C. Lee McKenzie says
My gram always said that honest was the best policy. For years I thought it was original with her. Thank you for your kind words, Pat. Appreciate the positive reaction to my work.
Have a wonderful and successful 2018, and I hope to share some of it with you.
Sylvia Ney says
Congratulations on the special mention in the contest – I look forward to reading more!
C. Lee McKenzie says
There’s a story behind how I sneaked into the anthology. I’ll share it in the future. Happy New Year, Sylvia.
Raimey Gallant says
I wish I had something to humble brag about right now. I can say for certain that when I do have something to brag about, I err on the side of screaming it to the world, probably because it’s so rare. 🙂 http:/www.raimeygallant.com
C. Lee McKenzie says
I love it when people have something to shout about. Writers work so hard for recognition that when they get it, it should be shared. I’ll listen for your screams in 2018.
Raimey Gallant says
By the way, I say wowzers all the time. Sometimes I scream it. 😉
Yolanda Renee says
My apologies if this is comment 2, but this is comment 2. I’m not sure the first one took. 🙂
Congratulations on placing in the IWSG Anthology. I can’t wait to read your bit of evil!!!!
Happy 2018!
C. Lee McKenzie says
This is your first comment, Yolanda. I’m going find out why WordPress is such a @$!! problem for some people to leave a comment. It shouldn’t be that hard. Thanks for the good wishes. I’m hoping both of us have a great 2018.
Yolanda Renee says
Congratulations on placing in the IWSG Anthology! I can’t wait to read that bit of evil! 🙂
Isn’t it a great way to start the New Year?
Love the hugging kittens!
Happy 2018!
Ellen @ The Cynical Sailor says
Great insights about insecure people who want to drag you down with them.
Congrats on the anthology. Great start to the New Year!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Hi Ellen. Thank you so much. I’m now on “brag alert” all the time.
Alex J. Cavanaugh says
That’s true. Often those people are a basket case and just want everyone else to be the same so they feel better.
C. Lee McKenzie says
I’m now working on how to either avoid those people or diffuse their impact.
Tamara Narayan says
There’s nothing like querying a novel to make one insecure. And yet I keep going.
Congrats on the IWSG anthology. Sounds like it will be a great collection.
C. Lee McKenzie says
Oh, yes. Sending out those little pleas are the most insecure-producing moments.
Thomas Anderson says
Hi, Cheryl-Lee!
I needed to drag myself away from running my multi-billion dollar corporation to comment on your post. I’m such a trouper. 🙂
Over the years I have known and worked with dozens of people who engage in humble bragging to make others feel insignificant. That picture of the hugging cats is a keeper, an inspiration to us all as we plow through a new year.
Enjoy the rest of your week, dear friend C-Lee!
C. Lee McKenzie says
I’m out here laughing, Thomas. Now get back to that multi-billion dollar business!
I sent off your prize yesterday. It should arrive at your old house before you move nearer the alligators. 🙂
Jennifer Lane says
That writing schedule made me laugh! *clinks wine glass as we cheer in the new year*
My pet peeve is narcissism. I agree with that quote about braggarts masking insecurity. If we truly feel confident, we don’t need to bombard the world with all of our successes. As Vince Lombardi said about running into the end zone after scoring a touchdown, “Act like you’ve been there before.”
However, it’s not bragging to celebrate your inclusion in the anthology. Major congrats!
C. Lee McKenzie says
Hi Jennifer, and thanks so much stopping by and actually reading my post. I’m very grateful. I love that quote from Lombardi; it’s perfect.
Hope to see you here again. Happy first Wednesday of 2018.
Cathrina says
I think personal ‘purgatory of self-doubt’ is contagious. I’ll join you for a glass of wine! Thank you for the kitty hug, I needed that.
Happy New Year, Lee!!
C. Lee McKenzie says
I’m sure you’re right. Come by any time. I always have wine and hugs available.
Here’s to all of us having a great 2018.