May swept by like a hawk on a mission. I’d hoped to get all kinds of things done while I took off time from blogging, and I did, but not half of what I wanted. I need to be more realistic in setting my goals, but I’ve know that since, like, forever. I don’t think I know how to make a short list.
It was interesting not being at my computer, thinking of what to write or commenting on others’ blogs. It gave me time to stare off into space a bit and shake the kinks out of my brain.
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| A pond staring moment. |
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| That hawk that swept by on a mission. |
I did go to one very interesting meeting where four eighteen-year-old women were awarded scholarships for letters. They read from their work, and I was blown away by their talent and their self-assurance in front of an audience of published writers. As they talked about their work and career goals I thought, “They don’t need the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. How come I feel I do?”
Then I thought back to my eighteenth year and I understood why. At eighteen I knew just about everything, and what I didn’t know I was sure to pick up in college. It’s only after all these out of college years where failures walk arm in arm with successes, where set backs come just after major accomplishments, where life doesn’t always cooperate and lead me along a straight path to my goal that I’m wise enough to understand that nothing’s always firm, nothing’s always set, nothing’s always safe. That’s not what life is. It’s filled with tricky things like illness, unexpected arrivals and departures, joys one minute, woes the next, so much love, so much hate, bad timing and good. Feeling a bit insecure once in a while has come from experience and prepared me to find my footing quickly, so when I take a step just as the earth shifts and leaves me off balance, I can regain that balance. I’m ready to catch myself.
And that’s all the homespun philosophy I’m capable of today. Here’s to the Insecure Writers’ Support Group; glad you’re around.
Hi Lee .. I'm finally coming round to your posts .. just glad you had a peaceful May …
I certainly couldn't write at 18 – or so I was told and thus believed … nor did I want to … strange how things turn around ..
Cheers Hilary
Lovely post! Isn't it funny that we knew everything at 18- but now we doubt ourselves. I guess I used to think I was invincible too! Sounds like a great awards ceremony and I loved the nature pictures.
~Jess
Welcome back. I never get as much done as I want to either.
It's nice to get away from it all from time to time. Unfortunately, I was one of those 18 year olds that was insecure about a lot of things and made some bad decisions. *sigh* But, I'm older and wiser now. Right? (; Welcome back and love the pictures you took.
True, at eighteen you have your whole life ahead of you. So many possibilities. But we all should still think that there are so many possibilities ahead at any age. Just gotta go out and do it! ๐
My May was very busy and not much writing happened here either. But great things like one son's communion, other son's graduation and confirmation and lots of baseball and track!
Oh goodness… it's so interesting, isn't it? I remember being 18… everything was so easy and carefree–I had no doubts or fears. I really did think I could accomplish or do anything. I agree that life changes that. Having lived through what I've lived through, I realize that there are things to be afraid of–because I've had to face them head on. But I wouldn't change it. I'd much rather be where I am and have learned the things I've learned. ๐
Fabulous post, Lee!
Ah, the ignorant bliss of youth. I envy them sometimes.
Is that a hawk or an owl?
Hey, maybe THAT's the answer to my writing time woes. I just need to become nocturnal and write when everyone's asleep. LOL
IWSG #123, until Alex culls the list again. ๐
I think, the older we get, the more life has tried to beat us down, so we begin to think there's something to that.
When we're young, we just don't know any better… ๐
I don't think I knew everything at 18, but I was convinced of the infallibility of the Protestant Work Ethic — if you work as hard as you can, day after day, year after year, you'll get what you want. So not true.
I'm glad you enjoyed your month off even if it went by too quickly. ๐
I wouldn't mind capturing some of that fearlessness of youth again, though ๐
Argggghhhh! I scroll and I scroll past all those folks in this here lil' ol' blog hop for "IWSG" aka "I Was Seeking Gary." Thank you so much ๐
Right then, Lee, yes it's time for another one of my highly collectable, award winning comments. Yay!
I was totally awesome at eighteen. And now I'm even more awesome! I know, how can that be possible. Welcome back and this comment will suddenly end!
I had that attitude as a teen, too. It wasn't until after college when I realized I didn't know crap. lol I suppose that happens to us all at some point. Glad you're back. I need to take a blog break at some point… Maybe this summer.
Most 18 yr olds are cocky know-it-alls. Welcome back!
Hi Lee! I'm more confident now than when I was 18. I was a rebel mess back then.
Welcome back! I love what you wrote about insecurity and learning to deal with it. Sometimes life experiences teach us deep and meaningful lessons that truly help us along the way, even if in only to understand ourselves better.
Welcome back C.Lee!
Those 18 year olds don't know what they're missing out on! The IWSG is an amazing platform for writers!
Writer In Transit
NICELY said….
BOY can I RELATE…. At eighteen I had the world in my hand, promising modeling career, traveling, money, success. I KNEW IT ALL…. HA!!!!!!! Fast forward a few decades … NOT! Surprise, surprise. But it;s life … with all its beauty and thorns.
Thanks for sharing C. Lee … we've missed you.
Thanks so much Michael. I suppose we all have these thoughts about our younger selves. Great to see you here again!
So glad you enjoyed the break. We need that sometimes. And I totally agree with what you said about life. It's all so true.
Hi Natalie. Thanks. It's good to be back. Glad you liked the post today.
What a beautiful post. ๐ Kinda brought a tear to my eye.
So glad you stopped by. Great to meet you.
Glad you're back but also glad you had a break.
You hit it on the head about 18-year-olds and those older than 18. I wouldn't have either age any other way than the way you stated it.
They have their upsides and downsides, don't they? Thanks for the welcome back, Barbara. It's good to hear from you as always.
Very wise philosophy. If there is one thing that writing professionally has taught me is that I must live and experience in order to write creatively and well. Back at eighteen, I would have never understood that.
I'm not sure how much I had to say when I was 18, so you're right about needing to experience. Hope you're better, Sheri. Hate summer bugs!
I'm not so sure it's about "needing" IWSG as it is about being part of an amazing writer's support group and learning a lot in the process.
We definitely do learn a lot. I agree.
Learning to get back on the path after tripping and stumbling is def a skill I am still learning! I miss that arrogant 18 year old me who had all the answers…sometimes.
There was something very bold about us then. I took a lot of risks. I don't do that as much now. I guess that's what I miss most. ๐ Great to hear from you agina, Elizabeth.
I had to laugh about your inability to make a short list. I have the same problem! I never seem to accomplish even half of what I plan to do on a break.
Glad to see you back, Lee! ๐
I think we have the "bigger eyes than stomach" syndrome, Julie. Thanks for the welcome back.
Lovely post, and what a great hawk photo! When I was twenty I wanted to publish a novel or picture book, but I was too all over the place. With age comes maturity and the ability to sit in a chair and write for many hours at a pop. That kind of maturity may come at 25, or it may not come until 30 or 40. Welcome back to the blogosphere.
Yes, I can't imagine my 18 year old self sitting still to do much anything for hours at a time. It's still a challenge until I'm lost in my ms. Then it's heaven.
Glad to be back and great to hear from you, Catherine.
It is interesting how being truly introduced to the world can humble us after our youthful years of naively believing we just know it all.
And once we realized we don't…well, there it is lol!!1
Indeed. How right you are, Angela!
Because at that age, we feel like we can conquer the world and we do know everything. Maybe there's something to be said for being young and naive?
Wasn't that a wonderful time?